An Open Letter to TheLaw.net

I get that companies need to market and advertise. However, I don't get spam. I especially do not get spam when I just asked to be taken off of their list on Monday and sent a letter to their president. So, now, here is my letter to him. Maybe some public humiliation and shame will get them to stop spamming people. (Nope, it is not just me. Others have contacted me about them as well.)

Dear Mr. Whitney:

Recently, an attorney contacted me for support on how to get rid of spammers who do not follow their own policies. I felt like it was a beautiful day, the sun beat down.

In less than one minute, I could answer the question "Who are you?" Yes, I knew it was TheLaw.net. Of course, I did not know that TheLaw had its own website. I was curious if the dictionary, the antonym, and the synonym also had their own websites. Surprisingly, they do. Suddenly, the Al Gore created place for information has been overrun by various parts of language.

Using the Veg-O-Matic and Mr. Microphone, I attempted to build a local list of people who hated parts of the English language owning domains as much as me. It turns out that when sorted by Billy Mays and James Dyson, the biggest turn off was people who took these domain names and then tried to make themselves sound important.

Of course, unlike some people, you do not claim to be a "head guru," however, it is my understanding that you may be overrun by the delightful kids from down the lane. In that case, a call to Numbuh One should be sufficient to resolve your problems. In fact, I am guessing that the trouble is not with tribbles, but that the tribbles caused the trouble. At least if that were the case, you could say you were not violating CAN-SPAM, but you may still have a problem with a tasty snack that you may eat too much of and then throw up.

Hence, my suggestion would be to develop a new SMARTMarketing strategy. I would highly recommend you look into it.

Jonathan

PS Look for the pop culture references!